Rules for Coparenting
- At all times, the decisions made by the parents will
be for your child’s psychological, spiritual, and physical well-being
- Do make and confirm parenting-time arrangements beforehand
between the parents without involving your child.
- Do notify each other in a timely manner of any need
to deviate from the schedule between homes, including canceling time with
your child, rescheduling, and punctuality.
- Do communicate with your coparent and make similar
rules in reference to discipline, routines, sleeping arrangements, and
schedules between homes. Appropriate discipline should be exercised by
mutually agreed upon adults.
- Do keep your coparent informed of any scholastic,
medical, psychiatric, or extracurricular activities or appointments of
- Do keep your coparent informed at all times of your
address and telephone number. If you are out of town with your child,
do provide your coparent the basic travel itinerary and a phone number
so that you and your child may be reached in case of an emergency.
- Do refer to your coparent as your child’s “mother”
or “father” in conversation, rather than using “my ex.”
- Do not talk negatively, or allow others to talk negatively,
about the other parent, their family and friends, or their home within
hearing range of your child. This includes belittling remarks, ridicule,
or bringing up allegations, whether valid or invalid, about issues involving
the adults in the coparenting relationship.
- Do not question your child about your coparent, the
activities of your coparent, or regarding your coparent’s personal
life. In other words, do not use your child to spy on
the other parent.
- Do not argue or have heated conversations when your
child is present.
- Do not make promises to your child to try to “win
your child over” at the expense of your child’s other parent.
- Do not schedule extracurricular activities for your
child during the other parent’s time without your coparent’s
consent. However, do work together to allow your child
to be involved in such activities.
- Do not involve your child in adult issues and conversations
about custody, the court, or the other parent.
- Do not ask your child where he or she wants to live.
- Do not attempt to alienate your coparent from your
- Do not allow stepparents or others to negatively alter
or modify your relationship with your coparent.
- Do not use phrases that draw your child into your
issues or make your child feel guilty about the time spent with the other
parent. Do not say “I miss you!”
Do say, “I love you ”
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